How I (try to) manage anxiety while running a startup with a reach of over 60,000 people and 6 team members and also not having a constant place to live
I had a problem child that copied me on emails about work while I was on vacation in Germany for three weeks. After I specifically told him not to send them. He copied the acting Chief that I left in chagre and ME in Germany. This was before COVID and Zoom, so no reason other than showing off and letting me know he was working. My husband literally had to check my email every day and delete them.
I feel your pain. Oh, and after you retire - I took early retirement at 60 - your anxious work brain morphs into anxious home brain. Here's my description of Tuesday night from my substack today. "To give you an example, I woke up and worried about the tom cat I saw in our yard yesterday. I chased it away earlier in the day before Alfred [our cat, not my husband] could freak out that his territory had been invaded. But what if that other stray cat in the neighborhood is in heat? What if they find each other? What if neither one are fixed? What if she has a passel of kittens? What if I can’t find any shelter to take the kittens, just like last year? What if they’re eaten by foxes? What if THEY have more kittens, and THEY have more kittens, and our house and neighborhood smells like cat urine and our neighborhood becomes a feral cat colony? What does that do to our property values? And on and on and on. Ridiculous in the light of day, but quite important in the middle of the night when you can’t go back to sleep."
I learned that my anxiety wasn't caused by work - I am an anxious, catastrophizing, anticipatory grief and worry QUEEN. It's just I was able to distill it and keep it at work, and now it's followed me home like a puppy with worms and fleas. But it's getting better. ;) Love your work!
haha perfect description. I'm the same, definitely not just work. constantly needlessly worry about all sorts of small things, though sometimes I have these weird glitches where I go "fuck it" and do something like launching Chill Subs haha. I think the key is to do something as fast as you can sometimes before you start overthinking it and get stuck and end up not doing anything at all until you find another thing to worry about
Love this (especially the line with "surprised Pikachu face")! Big takeaways (and things I can't agree more with)... Balance work and other fulfilling activities. Even if the work is fulfilling, "me" time is so important. Yes to exercise, or any physical activity that gets the body moving and/or out of the house. Also, not checking work email outside of business hours. ABSOLUTELY YES. This is a must.
Thank you!! Y'all are doing amazing work and have made my writerly journey easier and more fun. <3
aw thanks for responding <3 haha yeah, like I love Chill Subs with all my heart and I can't imagine anything better to work on but I'm also so many things outside of it, so I realized how important it is to draw the line and give myself space to be all those things, otherwise I don't feel like I'm fully myself and it's frustrating
Karina, what you said about not being able to choose where you live made me think about 'Airplane Mode' by Shahnaz Habib. I had not previously heard of Passportism and... am deeply disturbed... and I don't think most Americans are aware that we have the ability to wield this kind of power with our passports and waltz into any country we wish with pretty much no questions asked...
haha oh yeah. I'm not even secretly jealous of how Ben and Shelby can hop from country to country and I need to collect 304728 documents, have a solid full time job, travel history and a shit ton of evidence that I have something to return to in my home country to get a visa, and sometimes it's one time for the duration of your trip lol. oh wow thanks for the 7 day visa! (and now things are harder cause well I don't have a "normal" job and I already don't live in my home country haha) but we're getting there! already close to a non-laughable income at least
WOW. That is bonkers! For realz, I hope you write more about this. People (read: Americans) should know more about the privilege and disparity. I wonder, too, specifically how this impacts writers who want to travel for "writerly purposes" (which I'm sure gets a "look" from the dead-eyed guy at the can-I-enter-your-country office).
haha I probably will (we’re reorganizing the diary a bit and I’ll have my own column for all the founder’s stuff) and oh totally, it’s really especially hard for all the creatives without the easy to understand and stable income, good luck if you’re also single or not single but plan to travel without your partner. no no
I think I might have to steal the trick of logging out of work email on my phone… I was very brave this month and turned off my Gmail notifications on my phone, but now I still find myself reaching for and opening the app when I first wake up, even though my goal was to wait until at least 11am to have email fry my eyeballs. So much good stuff in here!
My one no-fail trick is to go on a walk outside and not come back in until I’ve seen at least 3 good creatures of some sort (e.g., bird, puppy, squirrel).
aww I like the creatures trick, I should try that! I'm living in a small city with like one street now so it's harder to find motivation for walking, while in the city it's super easy cause usually I'm going anywhere I need to go on foot. but returning to the city in two weeks so yay!
oh and the logging out is awesome, yeah. cause the urge to check it even without the notifications is still strong, ugh
Tonight I am on the sofa under a blanket watching Star Trek because I didn’t sleep last night with pain. The other half is bringing (cooked!) food home. Had to be done!
I am feeling this post so hard rn! Especially the part about three days of feeling like people are happy with you and home insecurity (my landlord just notified me thetly would be moving their son into my place, and not as a roommate.
For me, I think I have an idea about how I need to run my business to be a good business runner, but it is entirely out of touch with reality and what other people actually expect from my services. And many weeks, I am destroying myself to meet my own out of touch expectations. Gahhhh.
My coping mechanism might sink the business, but I have never felt that short form content is good for me as a human. So this January, I stopped posting. Im going oldschool and connecting personally with potential clients through conferences, community presentations, workshops, and my blog and newsletter. Terrifying, but a better use of my time than all the doom scrolling I was doing! I am happier. Way happier. I will see if it was a good business choice pretty soon here.
Stay sane girl; can’t help anyone, especially yourself, if you’re burned out.
Heeey Art! Oh I know. This year has been massively better in that regard so far. Hope you're doing ok too :)
I had a problem child that copied me on emails about work while I was on vacation in Germany for three weeks. After I specifically told him not to send them. He copied the acting Chief that I left in chagre and ME in Germany. This was before COVID and Zoom, so no reason other than showing off and letting me know he was working. My husband literally had to check my email every day and delete them.
I feel your pain. Oh, and after you retire - I took early retirement at 60 - your anxious work brain morphs into anxious home brain. Here's my description of Tuesday night from my substack today. "To give you an example, I woke up and worried about the tom cat I saw in our yard yesterday. I chased it away earlier in the day before Alfred [our cat, not my husband] could freak out that his territory had been invaded. But what if that other stray cat in the neighborhood is in heat? What if they find each other? What if neither one are fixed? What if she has a passel of kittens? What if I can’t find any shelter to take the kittens, just like last year? What if they’re eaten by foxes? What if THEY have more kittens, and THEY have more kittens, and our house and neighborhood smells like cat urine and our neighborhood becomes a feral cat colony? What does that do to our property values? And on and on and on. Ridiculous in the light of day, but quite important in the middle of the night when you can’t go back to sleep."
I learned that my anxiety wasn't caused by work - I am an anxious, catastrophizing, anticipatory grief and worry QUEEN. It's just I was able to distill it and keep it at work, and now it's followed me home like a puppy with worms and fleas. But it's getting better. ;) Love your work!
haha perfect description. I'm the same, definitely not just work. constantly needlessly worry about all sorts of small things, though sometimes I have these weird glitches where I go "fuck it" and do something like launching Chill Subs haha. I think the key is to do something as fast as you can sometimes before you start overthinking it and get stuck and end up not doing anything at all until you find another thing to worry about
Agreed. I find that exercise and starting the shower cold helps shock it out of me.
Solid advice especially not checking work emails out of hours.
Love this (especially the line with "surprised Pikachu face")! Big takeaways (and things I can't agree more with)... Balance work and other fulfilling activities. Even if the work is fulfilling, "me" time is so important. Yes to exercise, or any physical activity that gets the body moving and/or out of the house. Also, not checking work email outside of business hours. ABSOLUTELY YES. This is a must.
Thank you!! Y'all are doing amazing work and have made my writerly journey easier and more fun. <3
aw thanks for responding <3 haha yeah, like I love Chill Subs with all my heart and I can't imagine anything better to work on but I'm also so many things outside of it, so I realized how important it is to draw the line and give myself space to be all those things, otherwise I don't feel like I'm fully myself and it's frustrating
Karina, what you said about not being able to choose where you live made me think about 'Airplane Mode' by Shahnaz Habib. I had not previously heard of Passportism and... am deeply disturbed... and I don't think most Americans are aware that we have the ability to wield this kind of power with our passports and waltz into any country we wish with pretty much no questions asked...
haha oh yeah. I'm not even secretly jealous of how Ben and Shelby can hop from country to country and I need to collect 304728 documents, have a solid full time job, travel history and a shit ton of evidence that I have something to return to in my home country to get a visa, and sometimes it's one time for the duration of your trip lol. oh wow thanks for the 7 day visa! (and now things are harder cause well I don't have a "normal" job and I already don't live in my home country haha) but we're getting there! already close to a non-laughable income at least
WOW. That is bonkers! For realz, I hope you write more about this. People (read: Americans) should know more about the privilege and disparity. I wonder, too, specifically how this impacts writers who want to travel for "writerly purposes" (which I'm sure gets a "look" from the dead-eyed guy at the can-I-enter-your-country office).
haha I probably will (we’re reorganizing the diary a bit and I’ll have my own column for all the founder’s stuff) and oh totally, it’s really especially hard for all the creatives without the easy to understand and stable income, good luck if you’re also single or not single but plan to travel without your partner. no no
https://www.visualcapitalist.com/worlds-most-powerful-passports-in-2024/
Excited for your column!!
😪
I think I might have to steal the trick of logging out of work email on my phone… I was very brave this month and turned off my Gmail notifications on my phone, but now I still find myself reaching for and opening the app when I first wake up, even though my goal was to wait until at least 11am to have email fry my eyeballs. So much good stuff in here!
My one no-fail trick is to go on a walk outside and not come back in until I’ve seen at least 3 good creatures of some sort (e.g., bird, puppy, squirrel).
aww I like the creatures trick, I should try that! I'm living in a small city with like one street now so it's harder to find motivation for walking, while in the city it's super easy cause usually I'm going anywhere I need to go on foot. but returning to the city in two weeks so yay!
oh and the logging out is awesome, yeah. cause the urge to check it even without the notifications is still strong, ugh
Love this.
Tonight I am on the sofa under a blanket watching Star Trek because I didn’t sleep last night with pain. The other half is bringing (cooked!) food home. Had to be done!
I am feeling this post so hard rn! Especially the part about three days of feeling like people are happy with you and home insecurity (my landlord just notified me thetly would be moving their son into my place, and not as a roommate.
For me, I think I have an idea about how I need to run my business to be a good business runner, but it is entirely out of touch with reality and what other people actually expect from my services. And many weeks, I am destroying myself to meet my own out of touch expectations. Gahhhh.
My coping mechanism might sink the business, but I have never felt that short form content is good for me as a human. So this January, I stopped posting. Im going oldschool and connecting personally with potential clients through conferences, community presentations, workshops, and my blog and newsletter. Terrifying, but a better use of my time than all the doom scrolling I was doing! I am happier. Way happier. I will see if it was a good business choice pretty soon here.