Edging, but for business
April updates
Shel and I got hammam massages the other day. The woman who did them was sturdy and mean. Told us to lay this way, turn that way, sit! It felt great to not have to think or make a decision for thirty minutes. Like having a mom again. That’s what I think we all wish working at Chill Subs was like—like, if we had a tough, badass hammam mom who could tell us what to do all the time. No responsibility! Ah, the dream.
After, we walked home through some back streets where we found a twelve year old boy and a man in his fifties having a rock fight. Not pebbles. Rocks. Size-of-your-fist rocks. And it wasn’t a he-he-ha-ha rock fight (whatever the fuck that is). These two were furiously chucking rocks at one another until the twelve year old boy got the upper hand and the man ran. Undeterred, the boy picked up a baseball-sized jagged rock, and started walking down the road after the man. As he made his way by, we locked eyes and he nodded as if to say, “sup?” And I nodded back as if to say, “Please don’t throw that rock at me.”
That’s more what working at Chill Subs is like. Kinda stupid. A little dangerous. Sometimes, duck.
So of course we are always surprised when someone agrees to join our family. This time we are being joined by Shannan Mann! Yay! And damn, she learns fast:
She will be taking over our data management department. And she had some notes…
Hah! That’s only the beginning. Get ready for some incredible new processes and organization here at Chill Subs that you’ll never see but hey…less screams? Can you hear the screams? Don’t worry, it’s just Karina’s cat.
ffs, not that one.
That one.
One of the people who has been “unimpressed” by our vulgarity in company communications found Karina at a coffee shop the other day:
Woof.
I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my neck from working on the computer for the past couple months, so I made myself a standing desk:
Then stood so much that I got shin splints
Marcin had an ethical dilemma over a knick-knack
Shelby made a minor error on socials
That she fixed with all of our usual professionalism and grace
AND it was Nikita’s Birthday this week! Yay! He turned….twenty…something? Dammit, I know this. I’ll ask him later. So anyway, on Shel’s birthday he sent her a video of him playing guitar and singing Happy Birthday.
So for his birthday, Shel reciprocated:
nailed it.
Some spam artist invaded our emails…
…and clearly struck a nerve
And we still aren’t successful enough to wily-nilly question our super expensive corporate lawyer so we’re always playing games of, “Is this important enough to ask Paul?”
Anyone know?
That’s right, we’re crowdsourcing legal advice now. So what? Sue us. Wait, no, don’t sue us. Shit, can we say that? Paul!?
Y’all are great. Your cats are cute and you’re doing a good job. I pay you every month even though I never get around to submitting. It’s ridiculous. But I like you. And yes you do need to file a beneficial owner’s report but it’s not hard. Legalzoom wanted to charge a premium for doing it on my behalf, which annoyed me, enough so that I took the 20 min to figure out how to do it myself. It’s on the Secretary of State website and costs like $25 if I recall. You don’t need Paul.
Running a business is a bitch, but easier when you realize all the IRS can do to you if you fuck legal things up is to fine you. Which I guess is the slippery slope to living in a cardboard box. So feel free to ignore my soothing advice.
YEAH, FUCK YOU JASMINE!